And she does it again. On Erin Meanley’s Glamour blog, she wrote “31 Things I Wish I’d Known About Dating When I was 21.” I’m lucky enough to read this as a 21-year-old, let’s just hope I take them all to heart. Thanks for saving me and our sorority sisters some heartbreak, Erin!
(Oh PS. I sent this to my mom, and she gave me a running commentary on every single point. They’re hilarious… and in italics for your reading pleasure.)
Some highlights:
5. Guys want to get busy more than anything. They’ll say anything to close the deal.
“Relationship is not for dealing”
6. It’s shocking how much guys will talk about marriage. Until there’s a ring on your finger, it will be better for you if you pretend you’re deaf.
“talk is cheap and you are too young”
10. They might take a decade to mature. Don’t hope they’ll grow up or be ready in the next six months.
“even they are mature, you still cannot change a person”
16. It’s okay to say no. It’s more than okay. It’s always okay. If he stops calling (and many, many, many will), you’re only weeding out the guys who aren’t truly interested in you as a person. Time saved!
“just make sure he is really into you”
17. Playing it safe guarantees you’ll have more time and energy to think about your grades or your work. Less drama in your life will always be better and healthier for you.
“THIS IS SO SO TRUE, take the advise”
18. You deserve to be treated like a human being.
“if you behave like a human being”
19. Your wants and needs are just as important as his, and if you don’t express them because you think it will scare him away, then you’re saying you don’t count as much as he does.
“honesty is important”
21. You can’t force chemistry. If you like him as a friend, the attraction might grow, but if it doesn’t, don’t force it. And don’t waste his time.
“chemistry is more important than physic in relationship”
22. Ease up on the sauce. Alcohol clouds your judgment.
“and your body!”
23. No boyfriend-girlfriend relationship starts with a 1 a.m. booty text.
(here she said the name of a guy… obviously don’t want to write his name)
25. Women love attention. A guy needs to be pretty crazy about you in order for him to pay enough attention to make you happy long-term.
“it will happen after you are married”
27. There should be a medium ground between workaholism and his absolute devotion. “The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet” (Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, 658).
“don’t be a glue and have you own passion”
28. Never underestimate the quality of “interesting.” Men want someone interesting. They really do. Find some hobbies.
“take up photography”
30. Expectations? They’ll ruin every dating experience you have.
“the less you expect, the happier you get”
And the best for last…
31. You will never understand men. Just try to understand yourself.
“love yourself first”
Amen.
