“Today, I noticed that I’ve been spelling my company’s name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML”

Hhahaa, not that I would ever do this :)

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“Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say ‘Oh, what a cute little baby!’ The lady was holding a coconut. FML”
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“Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML”
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“Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I’d drank a lot of water, so I wouldn’t eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML”
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“Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we’re meant to be. We’re a 97% match. FML”
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“Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said ‘bless you’. From my bushes. FML”

(via papertissue)

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“Today, I got up the nerve to text the girl I’ve had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back ‘Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice.’ Service was spelled wrong and when I looked it up, error message 3265 does not exist. FML”

(via papertissue)

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“Today, my fiance, who believes in ‘sex after marriage’ like me, told me she was pregnant. FML”
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“Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming ‘I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA’ naked. FML”
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Themed by: Hunson