“Today, I noticed that I’ve been spelling my company’s name wrong in my email signature for over a year. FML”

Hhahaa, not that I would ever do this :)

“Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say ‘Oh, what a cute little baby!’ The lady was holding a coconut. FML”
“Today, I found my two best friends making out with each other. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Today was my wedding day. One of the friends was my maid of honor, the other was my groom. FML”
“Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I’d drank a lot of water, so I wouldn’t eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I’d forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML”
“Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we’re meant to be. We’re a 97% match. FML”
“Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said ‘bless you’. From my bushes. FML”

(via papertissue)

“Today, I got up the nerve to text the girl I’ve had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back ‘Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice.’ Service was spelled wrong and when I looked it up, error message 3265 does not exist. FML”

(via papertissue)

“Today, my fiance, who believes in ‘sex after marriage’ like me, told me she was pregnant. FML”
“Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming ‘I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA’ naked. FML”
“Today, my brother found 100 bucks in his coat pocket. He was so happy he bought 2 new games for his x-box. He was borrowing my coat. FML”
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Themed by: Hunson