From the NYMag website (of course), a mashup of the Chinese army performing “Beat It.” So funny, and it’s the first time I’ve actually enjoyed hearing MJ in a while.

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Standardized testing, according to Betty
  • Mom: why? I think you should study for MAGA
  • it is good for 5 years
  • me: what is MAGA/
  • Mom: like sat for business school
  • how is your bf
  • he should be studying for lasaa
  • me: GMAT mom
  • there is no such thing as MAGA...
  • LSAT
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After I resent a list of Shanghai hotspots, including Jean Georges, Cloud 9 and Jade on 36, my dad replied with this email:

Hi Blessing,

This proves the value of saving emails, at least the good ones.

It’s wonderful that you and Liana will have the chance this week to sample some of these high-end hotspots, courtesy of Auntie Cathy.

Then it will be my turn at the end of the year. With your help, we should start compiling a list of low-end coldspots.

Love you always,

Dad

Anyone have suggestions for “low-end coldspots” for my daddy and me? Haha, silly pa.

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Parody of the trailer for the new Facebook movie. Can someone please actually direct a movie about Twitter? I’ll openly admit, my tweets are inane, sometimes bordering on insane. But I’m not the only one…

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No hydrocarbons, no cheese = success
  • Mom: eat on time
  • exericse consistance
  • me: yeah
  • that's the most important
  • exercise
  • Mom: not one day here and skip two days
  • me: you need to do it everyday
  • like daddy
  • Mom: yes
  • he does not eat any HC at night
  • me: hc?
  • Mom: can you do that
  • me: he also doesnt drink alcohol
  • Mom: hydrocarbon
  • me: ....carbohydrates
  • omg
  • Mom: drinking is the worst
  • yes
  • by your bf is skinniy
  • do not eat cheese
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The Guardian’s take on the USA-England match, courtesy of OE.

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So funny, I cried.

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(via artpixie)

(via artpixie)

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Dating, as defined by Ayn Rand
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THE BEAUTY OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE UNDONE

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England…We take English for granted.   But, if we explore its paradoxes - we find that: Quicksand can work slowly - Boxing rings are square, - And, a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?Sometimes it makes one think that all the folks who grew up speaking English, could be running the danger of being called verbally insane. 

In what other language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. 
We have noses that run, and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway.
And, how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?

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Themed by: Hunson